To celebrate his 65th birthday, Ronnie Wood took his beautiful 34-year-old girlfriend to Venice, the city of love.As they cuddled together in a gold-encrusted gondola, Sally Humphreys leaned in adoringly for a lingering kiss — from a man almost old enough to be her grandad. His thin, wrinkled lips were puckered like those of a man who had misplaced his dentures.

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The next time we ran into each other was when I went to interview for a job in the ski resort's lift department, which he happened to be in charge of. I think he can't really find a woman to keep up with him, even in his own age group. The man I dated was essentially an 18-year-old himself when it came to maturity.

Her older brother had invited a bunch of the people they worked with at the mountain over and I happened to be there. I think he was attracted to me because I asked him out, and I was able to banter with him off the bat.

The pattern is always the same: rich, successful older man pairs up with unknown young woman.

But after the first flutter of love and £50 notes, do these women really have any idea what is in store for them?

They insist they’ve had a stroke or a heart attack when it’s just heartburn from eating too much.

They fret about their receding hairline and their ever-expanding waistlines.At 54, I’ve never been tempted to go out with a much older — or much younger — man, knowing I’m far more likely to find common ground with someone who is also in their early 50s.This question was answered rather succinctly in a scene from American TV show Mad Men, when the silver-haired advertising executive Roger Sterling is sitting in a bar with his stylish and attractive ex-wife, Mona.Even in your 80s, as I know from my own parents, you remember the young person you fell in love with, and they remember you as you were — the soft skin, the bright eyes, the youthful body, the passion and the enthusiasm. But while a lengthy marriage might provide a woman with a bank of memories to draw on when her husband turns grey and doddery, for a young woman going out with a much older man, what you see is what you get.The truth is, women are much more likely to find happiness with a man nearer their own age.Male buttocks over 50 are like dodos — they just don’t exist.